Mustache Bandages
Story by:
Jenni Chasteen
Don’t just hide your pain when you can disguise your pain. Mustache Bandages turned your everyday boo-boo into an excuse to grow some instant facial hair. On your arm. Or your knee. Or wherever else you’ve managed to injure yourself this time.
The novelty bandages came in a tin of 25, each decorated with a little mustache graphic. Put one over a minor scrape and suddenly your elbow looks like it’s trying out for a barbershop quartet. You’re practically obligated to draw a silly face around it. Just keep the marker off the actual cut, please.
These weren’t the sort of bandages you bought for their subtle, discreet appearance. They were for the person who looked at a plain adhesive strip and thought, ‘This could use more mustache.’ And really, who can argue with that?
The 25-count version appeared in coverage of Urban Outfitters’ mustache merchandise back in 2009. That’s worth noting because other novelty Mustache Bandages later sold in different tins, including a 15-count version. Same basic joke, different box of fake facial hair.
Will a mustache make your cut heal faster? No. But it might make you laugh at the ridiculous little face on your finger. Sometimes that’s enough to take the sting out of a lousy day.
I guess there is a market for these.