World’s First Lick-able Wall Paper

In news that would make Willy Wonka proud, Mischief PR agency and McVitie’s created what they billed as the world’s first lickable wallpaper, featuring 1,325 Jaffa Cakes. That’s right, somebody finally figured out how to make licking the walls an acceptable activity. FINALLY! I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment.

The installation appeared in an office building’s elevator in London back in April 2012, turning an otherwise boring ride between floors into a deliciously questionable experience. Totally cool and all, but isn’t all wallpaper lickable? If you think about it, anything is lickable. It just doesn’t always have a pleasing taste. Trust me, I’ve done the research. Don’t ask.

Willy Wonka’s Lickable Wallpaper Comes to Life

Inspired by the edible wallpaper from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, the so-called “Lickable Lift” was installed at the London offices of communications company Engine. Instead of wallpaper that tasted like fruit, this one offered the chocolate-and-orange flavor associated with McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes.

The project reportedly took four weeks to develop, with food technicians and artists helping bring the ridiculous idea to life. That’s an entire month of work dedicated to making an elevator taste like dessert. Meanwhile, I can’t even commit to washing the dishes every day. Different priorities, I guess.

The whole thing was a promotional stunt for Jaffa Cakes, designed to give stressed-out office workers a little something sweet during their daily routine. Because apparently the best way to improve workplace morale is to encourage employees to lick the elevator. Sure beats another mandatory team-building exercise!

But Is Licking an Elevator Wall Sanitary?

Of course, the real issue here is whether or not it’s sanitary. You don’t know what contagious, ooky person has been licking on them cookies! I mean, this is a public elevator we’re talking about. People touch those buttons after doing who-knows-what. And now everybody’s putting their tongues on the walls? GOOD LORD.

Luckily, the organizers apparently considered that little problem. According to contemporary reports, an attendant was stationed nearby to remove or replace each lickable spot after somebody tasted it. That way, no two people were supposed to lick the same piece. A whole job dedicated to supervising wall-licking. Imagine putting THAT on your résumé.

Now, does that make the whole thing completely sanitary? I’m not making any promises. But at least somebody was trying to prevent the world’s first Jaffa Cake-induced elevator epidemic.

The installation was a temporary publicity stunt, not a permanent upgrade to London’s elevators. Which is a shame, because I think every elevator should offer some kind of snack service. Preferably one that doesn’t involve licking the building.

Just kidding, you know I don’t give a single dang about germs. Hell, I’d eat a lollipop off the sidewalk if you gimme a dollar. In fact, I’d do it for 50¢ if it’s got hair stuck to it. I’m nasty!!