The Pizza Bikini Is The Only Swimsuit You’ll Ever Need
Story by:
Brittany High
Pyknic made a pizza bikini, and good lord, it’s a thing of beauty. Cheese, pepperoni, and red sauce, all represented on a swimsuit. I’ve never been so attracted to swimwear in my life! What, is that a weird thing to say? Oh no—I crossed a line, didn’t I?
Pepperoni Pizza, Now in Swimsuit Form
In its April 2015 post about the bikini, Pyknic described a print featuring cheese, pepperoni, and red sauce. It takes a familiar food and puts it somewhere you wouldn’t usually expect to find it. Somewhere considerably less convenient than a plate.
To be clear, this is pizza-print swimwear. Actual pizza would make a terrible swimsuit. Structurally questionable, difficult to wash, and gone before you reached the pool. Especially if I was anywhere nearby.
A Throwback to Food-Inspired Fashion
The original bikini was sold as separate top and bottom pieces. Current availability hasn’t been confirmed, but Pyknic’s archived post preserves the idea in all its pizza-loving glory. Some people want tropical flowers on their swimwear. Some people want stripes. And some of us would like our outfit to communicate exactly what we’re ordering after swimming.
I see a fusion of Dada-ism’s sense of the absurd with Trianglism’s (it’s a thing) emphasis of triangle shaped stuff. Yet, the model’s expression warns us not to objectify women, or we won’t get any tonight. My God, this is Art! With a capital “A”! Or maybe I am just a snot. Yeah, I’m a snot.