Nothing To See Here!: Censorship Towel

The Censorship Towel is a concept designed by Carmichael Collective. It’s meant to keep your post-shower time rated G. The pixelated print disguises your naughty bits, making them completely indiscernible to Peeping Toms and your weird dog who peers around the bathroom door and watches you dry off while he licks his chops like you’re a fine cut of steak.

I CAN SEE YOU. Stop pervin’ out on me, bro! Interspecies kink: I’m not cool with it.

Anyway, the idea is pretty simple: wrap yourself in a towel that makes your privates look like they’ve been censored for television. You know, those big blurry pixel blocks they slap over people’s naughty bits on reality shows. Except now you can achieve the same ridiculous effect without an entire television production crew following you into the bathroom. TECHNOLOGY!

The Censorship Towel Makes You Look Pixelated

Created back in 2012, the Censorship Towel was one of the delightfully strange projects from Minneapolis-based Carmichael Collective. The creative group specialized in unusual ideas that were as much about making people laugh as they were about actual products.

Instead of featuring an ordinary pattern, the towel uses chunky squares in different flesh tones to mimic the familiar censorship effect from television. Wrap it around your waist, and suddenly you’re a walking, talking, freshly showered episode of heavily edited reality TV.

Which is pretty clever, actually. Why bother wearing a boring old towel when you can make people think your entire lower half has been flagged by the network standards department? Sorry, folks. This body is NOT APPROVED FOR BROADCAST.

A Funny Towel Concept, Not an Actual Privacy Device

The Censorship Towel was originally presented as a design concept rather than a regular store-bought bathroom accessory. It was part of Carmichael Collective’s larger collection of playful creative experiments, which included other strange ideas like Bug Memorials and Piñata Anatomy.

And just to be clear, the pixelated design doesn’t actually make your body invisible. It’s still a towel. The joke works because the pattern resembles the digital blurring used on television. If you’re worried about somebody seeing you naked, I recommend the more traditional approach of closing the bathroom door. Works like a charm!

Still, I appreciate the dedication to the bit. Somebody looked at an ordinary towel and thought, “This would be way funnier if it made people look like censored nudists.” And then they actually made a whole design out of it. Meanwhile, the most creative thing I’ve ever done with a towel is wear one as a cape and pretend I’m a superhero.

Which reminds me, somebody should make a matching pixelated shower curtain. Then you could turn your entire bathroom into a giant censorship zone. Even the shampoo bottles would look scandalous!

Honestly, I’d wear one just to confuse my neighbors. Although knowing my luck, they’d probably call the cops because somebody was walking around looking like a malfunctioning television.

Thanks to @DK_FineArt for the tip!