Lapkins Are Napkins That Look Like Underwear
Story by:
Brittany High
Lapkins are paper napkins that make it look like you showed up to the dinner table in your underwear. Or, if you pick the fig leaf, like you took the dress code all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Finally, a table accessory that answers the question nobody asked: what if dinner involved more apparent nudity?
The trick is in the placement. Spread one across your lap, and the printed design supplies your questionable dinner outfit. You can keep your actual clothes on while giving the impression that getting dressed stopped somewhere around the underwear drawer.
Three designs and very little dignity
A retailer listing describes a set of 24, with eight napkins in each of three designs: orange men’s briefs, pink panties, and a fig leaf à la Adam and Eve. So the pack gives everyone a choice between looking underdressed and looking extremely underdressed.
The same listing identifies them as paper napkins, approximately eight inches square. These are printed table napkins rather than wearable underwear; the outfit is an optical joke that depends on where you put the paper. The fig leaf takes the premise one step further, swapping pretend undies for pretend modesty.
A dinner-party gag from the archives
Lapkins were already attracting amused criticism in 2014. UrbanDaddy included them in its year-end roundup of questionable products, taking a dim view of underwear-themed table manners. Apparently, some people like their dinner napkins to remain firmly in the napkin business.
The appeal here is the reveal: an ordinary place setting turns into a small wardrobe malfunction once the napkin reaches your lap. The three alternatives give the joke a bit of variety, although anyone choosing the fig leaf is clearly committed to the least formal interpretation of dinner attire.
Whether that improves a dinner party probably depends on who’s coming over. You know your guests. You also know whether they’re likely to laugh at paper panties halfway through the meal.
Alternatively, just go pantsless and stuff a napkin into your shirt like a normal person! Actually, on second thought, the paper underwear might be the easier thing to explain.
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