Beetles Dressed As Jurassic Park Characters

These are some of the creations from Etsy artist EBPearce, also known as Erin Pearce. As you can see, she needs to lay off the sauce dresses up giant beetles as characters from movies. In this case, all your favorites from Jurassic Park, but she also offered custom orders. That’s right, somebody looked at a giant beetle and thought, “You know what this thing needs? A tiny Jeff Goldblum outfit.” And honestly? They were right.

Before you start worrying about how she gets a living beetle to sit still for a costume fitting, there’s an important detail: these are preserved beetles. As in DEAD beetles. Which is somehow both reassuring and considerably weirder.

Jurassic Park Characters Reimagined as Giant Beetles

Pearce’s miniature Jurassic Park collection was making the rounds online back in December 2011. The lineup included Dr. Ellie Sattler, Dr. Ian Malcolm, John Hammond, and Robert Muldoon, each recreated using a different species of giant beetle. Because apparently dinosaur movies weren’t nearly buggy enough already.

Ellie Sattler got the tiny outfit treatment, complete with a wig and miniature accessories. Robert Muldoon became a rhinoceros beetle dressed for his adventures as the park’s game warden. And John Hammond? Naturally, he got his signature hat and cane. THEY SPARED NO EXPENSE! Except maybe on hiring actual human actors.

And then there’s Ian Malcolm, the chaos-theory-loving character played by Jeff Goldblum. Because if there’s one thing the world needed, it was a giant preserved beetle dressed like Jeff Goldblum. Life, uh, finds a way. Even when life is no longer technically involved.

The costumes were handmade, with little outfits and accessories that turned the beetles into miniature movie memorabilia. Contemporary coverage reported that the one-of-a-kind creations were listed on Etsy for more than $100 each. That’s a lot of money for a dead bug, but then again, how often do you find a beetle dressed like a fictional dinosaur park billionaire?

Tiny Costumes, Giant Beetles, and Questionable Hobbies

Hey, I like to put little outfits on my dogs. Einstein has more bow ties than Brooks Brothers, and Chloe just got braces to fix her underbite. So obviously I can’t hate on people who dress up their pets. But beetles are not pets, so this is kinda inexcusable. Although I guess preserved beetles are considerably easier to dress than an uncooperative dog.

Besides, the concept of dressing up a giant beetle in a costume? That’s the kind of idea I come up with when I’m tripping balls. And in those moments, all I can do is pray nobody can actually see my thoughts because, if they could, they’d realize just how bad I was wigging out and probably call my mom.

Still, you’ve gotta appreciate the dedication. Making tiny movie costumes is one thing. Making them small enough to fit a beetle while still resembling recognizable movie characters? That’s a whole new level of weirdly impressive. Now somebody just needs to build these guys a miniature Jurassic Park. Preferably with better security.

Thanks to the Royal Angel King for the tip. All he wears is a majestic fur-lined cloak. Okay, plus some socks (his feet get cold easy).