Bring A School Of Fish To School In This Aquarium Backpack

This is the $500 aquarium backpack sold by Etsy shop uvproductionhouse. According to the original product listing, it includes goldfish, rocks, snails, and plants. Plus it’s self-cleaning! Damn, what more could you ask for out of an aquarium backpack? Oh, you’re right: a matching aquarium lunchbox! Gotta have a matching lunchbox.

That’s right, somebody actually made a backpack that doubles as a fish tank. Because apparently carrying around books, snacks, and several pounds of unnecessary junk wasn’t enough. Now you can add an entire underwater ecosystem to the list. Finally, a backpack with more living creatures inside it than my old high school gym locker!

The $500 Aquarium Backpack Is a Fish Tank You Can Wear

Originally offered by Etsy seller Ultra Violet Production House, the Aquarium Backpack was a handmade, made-to-order creation with a transparent body, adjustable padded shoulder straps, waterproof zippers, and storage pockets. Basically, a regular backpack, except the main compartment is full of water and fish instead of homework and crushed granola bars.

The original $500 listing reportedly included the backpack itself, goldfish, rocks, snails, and aquatic plants. The seller also advertised it as self-cleaning, although exactly how that feature worked wasn’t explained. Maybe the snails were responsible for housekeeping? I don’t know. Somebody get those little guys a mop!

And let’s not forget the weight. Water is heavy, people. Add the container, rocks, and everything else, and suddenly your quirky fashion accessory starts looking like a pretty serious workout. Who needs dumbbells when you’ve got an aquarium strapped to your spine?

Cool Backpack, But What About the Fish?

Of course, there’s one tiny problem with this whole idea: THE FISH. As impressive as an aquarium backpack looks, goldfish need plenty of room, proper filtration, adequate oxygen, and stable water temperatures. Constantly carrying them around in a sloshing container isn’t exactly an ideal living situation.

Which makes this thing much easier to appreciate as a bizarre art piece than an actual everyday backpack for live animals. Besides, imagine trying to explain to your teacher why your homework is wet. “Sorry, my goldfish ate it.” Somehow I don’t think that’s going to work.

Still, you’ve gotta admire the creativity. It’s weird, wildly impractical, and the kind of thing that makes you wonder what somebody’s going to invent next.

Personally, I’m still holding out for that matching aquarium lunchbox. Preferably one filled with goldfish crackers instead of actual goldfish. Much easier to maintain. Plus, you can eat them! Everybody wins.