Coffee Roaster Douwe Egberts recently set up a vending machine at the O.R. Tambo International Airport. But this isn’t any old stinking vending machine that takes your money and leaves your bag of chips hanging by a metal coil. This vending machine dispenses coffee in exchange for a yawn. It’s equipped with facial recognition software that detects when a person yawns, then dispenses a cup of joe. That’s nice. Wouldn’t it be extra nice if all bodily functions had a machine that delivered appropriate responses to said functions? Like if you sneeze, the machine gives you a tissue. If you pass gas, it directs you to the restroom. If you get a boner in public, shames and humiliates you until it goes away. Yeah, that’d be real nice.
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