Sadly, for good or bad, a large percentage of marriages end in divorce. This situation becomes more difficult when the divorcing couple is also parents to children. Breaking up is hard. Breaking up with kids involved can be even harder, especially on them.
What effects does divorce have on your children’s future? Well, there are a few common issues that develop in kids with divorced parents which we will now discuss, however, there are ways you can help combat these issues, too. Let’s take a look at how a divorce can affect your children’s future.
Of course, in the first instance, you may find yourself in a custody battle. This can be a long, painful process, with many steps as explained by the lawyers over at https://familyatty.com/child-custody/. You can see there are many stages of litigation and types of claims when it comes to child custody, so the process can be drawn out over several months. This can be extremely stressful for children while leaving them feeling like they don’t know who to turn to or where they will eventually settle. Custody battles should be avoided at all costs, though, of course, we know that is not always possible.
Possible Trust Issues
With custody, separation, and divorce in general, children can develop long-term trust issues, especially if the separation comes as a huge shock to them. These issues can manifest into their adult relationships, leaving them unable to trust people completely, or giving them separation anxieties. We all have to learn to trust new people, and we all do it at different speeds, but this can be greatly hindered in the case of divorced-family children.
Behavioural / Academic Issues
Another relatively common medium to long-term effect is behavioural and/or academic issues. Unfortunately, there is a correlation between divorce and children’s temperament. This can affect kids of any age but is more likely to set in younger. Children from divorced families may externalize their problems more which can lead to impulsive behaviour, conflict, or other conduct disorder.
When it comes to academic performance, there is a slight difference. Though it is the same, generally, that kids from two-parent families tend to have better concentration and less trouble with education, it is not as clear-cut. It seems that kids who were informed and educated about the divorce in advance do not struggle as much as those who found the divorce to be a surprise.
But You Can Make A Difference…
These things can happen, though as we have just seen, proper parenting and prior warning can help alleviate some of these issues. One of the most important things you can do as parents to try and avoid these issues is to co-parent together without putting kids in the middle. Don’t play them off against your ex, don’t try and use them for leverage with anything. Co-parent as peacefully as possible whilst maintaining healthy relationships with your kids. The more stability you can give them throughout the process, the better. You can also help by using a peace path to give them additional coping skills.
Divorce affects us all (and an online divorce can be conducted without an attorney). Some, especially kids, more than others. But, we can help curb these effects by making sure we are honest, open, and caring as parents.
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