Infographic: How To Twerk
Story by:
Brittany High
Twerking? WTF is it? Jk, I know full well, but I prefer to pretend that I don’t. It’s better this way. Besides, I’m more of a booty clapper myself. Stick to what you know!
But maybe you’d like to learn to twerk. Back in 2013, the New York Post published an infographic breaking the dance down into four supposedly easy steps. Because apparently what this particular dance floor needed was a diagram.
How to Twerk: The Four-Step Infographic
Four Steps, Questionable Dance-Floor Credentials
A numbered guide makes the whole thing sound reassuringly manageable. Read the instructions, follow along, become the person everybody watches at the party. Although, to be fair, being watched and being good are two very different outcomes.
I don’t know. I feel like it’s lacking that—how do you say? Je ne sais quoi booty. Some things lose a little something when you turn them into homework.
And I stand by one personal rule: the only time you should be sticking out your tongue and licking your lips like there’s a hot fudge sundae sitting in front of you is when there’s an actual hot fudge sundae sitting in front of you. That’s a tutorial I can get behind. Step one: find a spoon.
ERMAGHERD GET MAD AT COMMENTS ON THE INTERNET. ERMAGHERD FEMINISM. ERMAGHERD BUZZ WORDS LIKE BODY SHAMMING
Ernagherd. Could they have picked a grosser chick?
yes, they could have used Miley Cirus
Ermagherd. Could we discontinue with the body shamming? Some girls are petite, some girls are large. Get over it.
She totally needs a sammich
And a doughnut. And a cookie.