Yes Plz: Bacon Cheeseburger Bloody Mary

Sobelman’s Pub & Grill in Milwaukee brings us the Fully Loaded Bacon Cheeseburger Bloody Mary. And yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like: a Bloody Mary with an actual bacon cheeseburger sitting on top. It even came with a BONUS chaser of Sprecher beer back in 2012. So it’s got bacon, cheese, meat, booze, and a little extra booze. Nice. Apparently, someone looked at an ordinary Bloody Mary and thought, “You know what this needs? An entire lunch balanced over the glass.”

Forget the usual celery stalk and lonely olive. This ridiculous creation piled a cheeseburger slider, shrimp, Polish sausage, cheese, and assorted pickled vegetables onto one already crowded cocktail. It’s the kind of drink that makes you wonder whether you should ask the bartender for a straw or a knife and fork. Personally, I’d take both. Maybe an extra plate, too.

A Bloody Mary That’s Basically an Entire Meal

The burger might grab all the attention, but everything underneath deserves some credit, too. The shrimp, sausage, cheese, and pickled vegetables turn an ordinary tomato-based cocktail into a full-blown snack situation. And this isn’t just some sad little drink with a lonely piece of celery sticking out. We’re talking enough toppings to keep you busy before you even reach the vodka. Seriously, how are you supposed to take the first sip? Eat the burger first? Move the shrimp? Ask someone to hold your garnishes while you drink?

The best part might have been the price. According to reports from 2012, this ridiculous creation cost just $9, beer chaser included. That’s nine bucks for a cocktail, a miniature cheeseburger, assorted snacks, and a little extra beer. No wonder it attracted attention. Of course, that was the reported price back then, not what you’d necessarily pay today. Still, I’d bet my entire life savings that the price wouldn’t stop me from ordering one. And that’s a bet you’re gonna lose. Mostly because my life savings is approximately $0.

How Sobelman’s Took Bloody Mary Garnishes Too Far

So whose brilliant, slightly concerning idea was this? Owner Dave Sobelman had already been experimenting with increasingly elaborate Bloody Mary garnishes when he decided to stick a cheeseburger slider onto a skewer. He shared the creation on Facebook and wondered whether he’d finally gone too far. Apparently not. People loved the idea, and the burger-topped cocktail helped turn the pub’s outrageous drinks into a local attraction. Because nothing gets people talking quite like putting a cheeseburger where a celery stalk used to be.

And if you thought the cheeseburger was the ultimate Bloody Mary topping, Sobelman’s eventually went even further. The pub later introduced the Bloody Beast, a towering cocktail topped with an entire fried chicken. AN ENTIRE CHICKEN. At that point, you’re not ordering a drink anymore. You’re ordering dinner with a beverage hiding somewhere underneath it. You know, there’s just nothing I appreciate more than when food and drink come together to make something tasty and boozy. Sniffle. It’s just so beautiful. Now somebody pass me a fork. I’ve got a cocktail to eat.