Pew Pew Pew!: Baby Holster

This is the Baby Hjölster, a cowboy version of the Baby Björn. The concept was created by the dad-dudes over at HowToBeADad.com. The faux-product is meant for the good, the bad, and the cuddly! YEEHAW! Finally, a way to carry your baby around like an old-fashioned gunslinger. Except instead of packing heat, you’re packing a tiny human who occasionally spits up on your shirt.

Which… kind of takes the whole edge off of being a rough and gruff cowboy, but I kind of get it, actually. A baby can be the most dangerous weapon if used properly. Projectile vomit! Poopie pants! That shit’s more dangerous than a pistol! No, no… that’s not true at all. But it certainly makes diaper-changing time feel like the Wild West.

The Baby Hjölster Is a Cowboy’s Dream Baby Carrier

The Baby Hjölster made its internet debut back in 2012 as part of HowToBeADad.com’s hilarious Bad Product Ideas series. Created by Andy Herald and Charlie Capen, the concept imagined a baby carrier modeled after a traditional Western gun holster. Because apparently carrying your kid against your chest isn’t nearly cowboy enough.

The fictional design featured a rugged-looking leather holster hanging from a parent’s hip, ready to accommodate one very small buckaroo. Just imagine strolling into town with your trusty sidekick swinging from your belt. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of outlaws quite like a baby demanding another bottle.

Of course, the whole thing was a joke. The Baby Hjölster was never intended to be a real, safe way to carry an infant. It was one of the site’s deliberately terrible parenting inventions, dreamed up for laughs rather than actual diaper-bag duty.

Still, you’ve gotta appreciate the creativity. Most baby carriers are designed around boring things like comfort, support, and practicality. This one was designed around looking like the coolest dad at the rodeo. Sure, it’s completely ridiculous, but that’s half the fun.

At least you’ll look like the coolest buckaroo when you bust open the doors to the saloon at Dads Day Out with your offspring swinging at your hip! PEW PEW PEW! Watch out, everybody. There’s a new sheriff in town, and he needs his diaper changed.