Is This What Humans Look Like In 1000 Years?

Is This What Humans Look Like In 1000 Years?

According to a totally bogus study conducted by The Sun, this is what humans will look like in the year 3000. Basically, people are gonna look totally and completely gnar-gnar. Supposedly the results come from surveying the leading anatomical experts, but I think they just asked an artist to draw up the ugliest Gollum-esque human they could imagine. Per the questionable results:

– We’ll be TALLER at 6-7ft because of improved nutrition and medical science. Osteopath Garry Trainer, from north London, says: “The average American is about one inch taller than in 1960.”

– Our INTESTINES will get shorter so we don’t absorb as much fat and sugar — a natural way of avoiding obesity, says dentist Dr Philip Stemmer.

– If male fertility declines further, there will be SMALLER TESTICLES (tough luck, chaps).

– Our most used extremities will change dramatically.
ARMS AND FINGERS get longer to reduce the need to reach too far and nerve endings in hands and fingers will increase because of the greater use of devices such as iPhones that need complex eye-hand coordination.

– We’ll have SMALLER BRAINS, maybe because so much memorizing and thinking is done by our computers. “Science fiction images show humans of the future with huge brains but big brains are not necessarily the best,” says Chris Stringer, from the Natural History Museum.

– There will be LARGE EYES to compensate for smaller mouths. Cary Cooper, of Lancaster University, explains: “Communication will rely on facial expressions and eye movements.”

– Dentist Dr Stemmer also thinks there could be FEWER TEETH as softer food needs less chewing and biting. He says: “We could even get our nutrition from liquids or pills in the future, which could mean less teeth and receded jaws.”

– Expect people to have QUADRUPLE CHINS. “Our bodies were designed for eating less and using more energy than a modern lifestyle requires,” says Rajiv Grover, a consultant plastic surgeon.
We can expect other dramatic changes too.

– Everyone will have the same shape of NOSE because climate is having less influence on broad or narrow hooters thanks to air conditioning and central heating.

– Central heating and warm clothing means we’ll be LESS HAIRY but there’ll be more WRINKLES as a result of peering at our electronic devices.

Finally! A human uglier than I am. When they find my DIY time capsule that I have buried in my back yard and see my yearbook photo from seventh grade, they’re gonna think I’m an angel. An angel with longer INTESTINES, smaller EYES, way more TEETH, yet the same amount of CHINS as they do. Someone have my cryogenically frozen for a thousand years, these freaks are gonna make me their queen!

Check it out

Via: Faculty of Medicine

We want to know all of your thoughts and feelings. Please share them in great detail below.
  • Raytracer

    SLOTH LOVE CHUNK!

  • Kurt

    Don’t buy the sun. Justice for the 96!

  • J.C.

    No way! Not in just 1000 years. That’s asinine.

  • Ben Leeds Carson

    This is a pretty sad misunderstanding of evolutionary biology. The smaller intestines and height increases are marginally possible in that obesity and shortness marginally (but not decisively) decrease opportunities to procreate. But the advantages conferred upon a person more agile in iPhone typing could never be significant to large-scale trends in the gene pool. These technologies make money because they are suited to our current anatomy, not because they challenge it. But even
    if some advantage is associated with altered fingers, it would be a professional, economic advantage, or maybe a social one. When individual people are more economically successful, they tend to have fewer children, not more.

  • Neil degras Tyson

    This is not how evolution works

  • Curtis Darr

    I’m guessing that everyone missed the part about how this was satire…..

  • Zorrito Plateado

    this article went so far to stupidity. They are considering just 3 or 4 habits that will change in probably 3 years according with our technology and merchandising system. Its impossible to say how human its gonna be… biology its more smarter than this.

  • beastium

    Sure, y not

  • Jenny

    but we will still think we’re hot!

  • ang

    We didn’t look that much different 2000 years ago, I doubt we’d look much different 1000 years from now.

  • LadieBug

    Did you miss the first line?

    “According to a totally bogus study conducted by The Sun”

  • liferox23

    I think we’ll look like elves….

  • chris

    Despicable me yess!

  • robert hingston

    The Brain will get smaller? That part I can believe.

  • poupee

    Humans will have I phones in 3000 years? Hahahaheeheeheehoohoohoohaaah ah ah ah…ah

  • Joe Mama

    EWWWWW! THAT THING IS HIDEOUS AS HELL!
    SOMEONE KILL IT WITH FIRE BEFORE IT REPRODUCES!!!

  • Bombastic Bushkin

    No surprise. Sun employees are already there!

  • Matt Friedland

    approved

    – Matt

    IncredibleThings.com

    CraftyContraptions.com

    *From:* Disqus [mailto:notifications@disqus.net]
    *Sent:* Tuesday, March 14, 2017 11:09 PM
    *To:* mattincrediblethings@gmail.com
    *Subject:* Re: Comment on Is This What Humans Look Like In 1000 Years?

    “No surprise. Sun employees are already there!”

    [image: Disqus]
    Settings

    A new comment was posted on Incredible Things
    ——————————

    This comment is awaiting moderator approval. ——————————
    *Bombastic Bushkin*
    No surprise. Sun employees are already there!

    11:08 p.m., Tuesday March 14 | Other comments by Bombastic Bushkin

    Moderate this comment by email

    Email address: *beautiful.blueday@gmail.com* | IP address: 174.88.144.55

    Reply to this email with “Delete”, “Approve”, or “Spam”, or moderate from the *Disqus moderation panel* .

    Bombastic Bushkin’s comment is in reply to *robert hingston* :

    The Brain will get smaller? That part I can believe.

    Read more ——————————

    You’re receiving this message because you’re signed up to receive notifications about activity on Incredible Things.

    You can unsubscribe from emails about activity on Incredible Things by replying to this email with “unsubscribe” or reduce the rate with which these emails are sent by adjusting your notification settings .

    [image: Disqus]

Want More Incredible Things?

Sign up for the Incredible Things daily email. All the cool kids are doing it.