The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

The pain of rejection feels like an attack when you’re trying your best on a new venture, whether it’s going on a first date, a job interview, or even making a new friend. But then it all blows up in your face, and you have to start over. What do you do? Putting yourself out there again is going to be extremely difficult, but to find the right people interested in what you bring to the table, you have no choice but to go out on a limb.

So how can one best deal with rejection and overcome the dread of it happening again? Let’s explore how you can overcome rejection once and for all, and make it work to your advantage.

First, Stop And Think About Why You Were Rejected

Rejections aren’t always personal, despite how they make you feel. Just because you’re rejected from a job or by a romantic interest doesn’t mean that you’re not worth anyone’s time. In the event that your invitations or call-backs have mysteriously stopped, it may be time to take a closer look at your potential role in the disappearance of those offers.

Look back at your most recent encounter, whether it was a date or a job interview. Give yourself a mental rerun of what you said or did, including how they reacted, in as much detail as possible. Think of what you could have done to make this experience better, or at the very least, avoid it from happening again.

Accept That You Were Rejected

This is the most difficult but also the most critical step. It is important to note that this initial step does not imply putting yourself down. Understanding what the hiring manager, date, or friend required and how it may or may not be in line with what you have to offer is essential for accepting that you may have just not been the right fit. Accepting rejection entails acknowledging that it occurred and channeling the emotional influence it has over you into something constructive.

Awkward Silly Marriage Proposal Leaving Girlfriend Speechless

Focus On Your Strengths

It’s perfectly fine to come to terms with rejection in order to regain your composure and move on to something better. List out your skill and strengths so that you can highlight them when the next opportunity presents itself. Consider the following: what do you bring to the table? What makes it so valuable? If you’re a bit too modest and not used to boasting about your accomplishments, sit down and write a list of what makes you unique or what amazing things you could contribute to a job or relationship.

Acknowledge That There Was Probably Something Better Waiting For You

Remember a time when you were turned down for a job. Did a new opportunity come about as a result of this terrible experience that would not have been possible otherwise? It’s imperative that you start to view rejection as a hopeful sign since that something monumentally better is waiting for you on the horizon. The takeaway here is that you learn from every negative experience, and then accept rejection as the push you need to help you grow. Rejection provides us with an opportunity to understand what it is that we truly want, how we can add value, and what we are willing to give up to make it happen.

Don’t Give Up

You’ve got to keep putting making an active effort everyday, even if the rejection has drained you of all motivation, in order to achieve what you desire. Brace yourself for, and unconditionally accept whatever what happens next, but don’t burden yourself with too much unnecessary pressure. This may mean adjusting your expectations before putting yourself out there again for a date or a job opportunity, or simply focusing on the little things that make you appreciate life. But whatever you do, don’t let yourself become stagnant.

Surround Yourself With People Who Care About You

Our core urge to belong is rattled when we are rejected, so in order to avoid feeling this way, it’s vital to spend time with people who appreciate and admire you for your unique personality and genuinely think you’re a phenomenal addition to their social network. When it comes to your support system, merely spending time with them can be enough, but opening up can be a potent salve whether you want to rant or need a pep talk.

Friends and loved ones are wonderful, but you can also gift yourself the guidance of a licensed therapist using innovative services such as BetterHelp, who can provide you with strategies to help you transform your negative self-talk, and start looking at rejection as a convenient way to find something that aligns with your authentic self.

Resist The Urge To Put Yourself Down

While analyzing your personal role in the why you were rejected might provide valuable insight into what not to do the next time around, don’t use this as an excuse to craft a negative narrative about yourself in your head, simply because you didn’t get a second interview or date.

If we get rejected from something we had high hopes for, the very last thing we should do is go through all of our flaws in an attempt to figure out what went wrong. It’s not the there was necessarily anything wrong with you, it could have just been a bad match. And isn’t that a good thing in the long run?

Consider whether or not what you’re saying is has any foundation in truth. You might just be making stuff up in your mind to bring yourself down.

You might be tempted to rule something out as not being fair and give up completely, but not in your best interest to quit now. It’s much more advantageous for you to find places in which your ideas, contributions, or some component of your own personality could be changed for the better. On the other hand, you could choose to find someplace that will appreciate you for who you are.


Marie Miguel Biography

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

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