It’s never nice when you suspect that your partner is having an affair. It can leave you heartbroken and can significantly knock your confidence.
Cheating is even more concerning when you and your partner have commitments, such as a mortgage to pay or children to look after. It’s not as easy as splitting up and living separate lives. You have other things to consider.
What’s even worse in this situation is when you aren’t 100% sure that your partner actually is cheating. You might have your suspicions but if you have no evidence, what can you do?
You could confront your partner and accuse them of having an affair but if you present no evidence, your claim might be dismissed. Your partner might call you crazy and deny everything you’re saying.
If you are wrong and your partner genuinely isn’t cheating, they might start to think that you don’t trust them. This can have detrimental impacts on your relationship.
So, you’re in a catch 22 situation. You suspect your partner is being unfaithful but you’re scared to mention anything because there’s a chance that your suspicions are wrong.
Unfortunately, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ in these situations. There’s no definitive right or wrong answer that applies to every scenario.
Your situation is unique to you and your partner, and you need to make the decision based on your individual circumstances. You’ll need to weigh up the potential evidence that you have against your partner to determine the best course of action.
However, there are some general guidelines that might help you come to this decision. Here are the best things that you should do if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you.
Run a Reverse Phone Lookup
If you suspect that your partner is sneaking behind your back, you can run a reverse phone lookup. All you need is a phone number!
You can go onto one of the many reverse phone lookup websites and type in this phone number to see who this number belongs to. The website will give you the person’s full name.
Once you know the full name of the person your partner has been calling, you can type this into Google to find out more about them. Most people have some information about themselves online so it should be fairly easy for you to learn more about this person.
Typing their name into various social media platforms may also be lucrative. Pretty much everybody has a least one social media profile nowadays, whether it’s on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. You can learn a lot about somebody just by taking a look at what they post online.
When you learn more about the suspected caller, it may confirm your suspicions or you might need to do some further digging.
Analyze The Red Flags
If you’ve had previous relationships, you can use these to your advantage.
Consider which red flags popped when you were with your past partners. This will help you to figure whether there are any red flags in your current relationship.
What are they saying or doing that is leading you to feel suspicious? Are you projecting your own insecurities into the relationship?
Reflecting on what went wrong in your past relationships can help you to find clarity. It prevents you from subconsciously looking for ways to reinforce your beliefs about your partner.
Don’t Confront Them Right Away
It’s tempting to confront your partner as soon as your suspicions rise. You might be filled with anger or frustration or worry, and you want to release all of these pent-up emotions onto them.
But it’s much better to take a step back and consider your options before making any drastic moves. If you come at your partner with an accusatory tone, it might make things worse.
Spend some time reflecting on your situation. Did they do something to make you suspicious? Did your friend mention something that lead you to become wary? Is your partner acting unusual or staying out late every night?
After a few weeks of weighing up the pros and cons of the situation, it might be easier for you to make a decision on whether or not you need to speak to your partner. If and when you do so, make sure to clearly state your thoughts and feelings.
Avoid making any bold statements that you don’t have evidence to back up. Instead, clearly explain why you feel that your partner is being unfaithful and ask them to disclose any important information that you deserve to know.
On the other hand, it’s important not to sit on your thoughts and feelings for too long. You don’t want to wait months and months before you say anything.
Unresolved issues can drive you and your partner apart even further. Your negative thoughts can fester inside your mind and may start to cloud your views or affect your mental health.
Consult Your Closest Friends
When you suspect that your partner is cheating, it’s not always best to broadcast your fears to every single friend. Instead, choose a select few of your closest friends and discuss your suspicions.
Your best friends will most likely know you and your partner, and the relationship you have with each other, very well. They will be able to give their unbiased opinions as a third-party and this can be helpful.
Often, friends give the best advice. They can support your point of view but they may also be able to see things from your partner’s perspective.
Your thoughts are biased and it can be difficult to see things clearly when you’re in the relationship yourself. Getting a second opinion can help to clear things up so you can make an informed decision on how to deal with the situation.
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