Having good relationships with your professor is of utmost importance. One day, they may become your academic supervisor, and you will make sure of that. Yet, well-established communication with them is helpful in other situations, too. Without it, it may be the case that you won’t get to earn a good grade from them even if you send a ‘write a paper for me’ request to a professional writer.
However experienced the latter is, some professors are just hard to get through to. They like giving abstract comments and recommendations and going back and forth accepting your drafts, then rejecting them, and thus contradicting themselves. In the end, their instructions don’t make any sense. And while we’re on the subject, let’s get straight to the first tip.
Don’t Try to Point Out Their Mistakes
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Trying to assure your professor that their statements make no sense or that it was their fault in a conflict between you two is mostly useless. Many professors are sensitive creatures when it comes to someone questioning their reputation and authority. So, skip this stage of your attempts to make peace. It will probably just make things worse.
Admit You’re Sorry
If something happens and ruins your normal or good relationship with your professor, you are definitely not okay with it. And it shouldn’t be your fault for you to feel sorry and to admit that you are. It’s not a recommendation to apologize no matter what.
Even if it’s your fault or your professor deems so, saying that you’re sorry about the situation is a sure way to breach hostility. It will help you both to cool down and either forget the conflict or start over again. For the same purpose of having time to cool down, do not go to them straight after the conflict.
Wait for a day or two. You’ll get more ideas regarding what can be said and choose the most suitable words. It’s better to say those in person, however, if you fail to come across your professor, writing an email is also acceptable. Just make sure you mention that you’ve tried to pay a visit.
Remember That It’s Not Personal
Having bad vibes from someone, more often than not, comes from personal issues of that person. It is relevant even in close relationships. However, when it comes to purely professional / business / teacher-student communication, you can be 99% sure that there is nothing you can do to prevent such an attitude.
Unless you and your professor are related somehow or know each other outside the university, there is no reason to think they do not like you personally. Finally, they can be a simple fuddy-duddy who just needs someone to complain about or give them pain in the neck. It is bad luck that you turned out to be that someone, but that is fixable and easier to deal with when you know it’s not about you or your actions.
Ask Them How Both of You Can Get Past This
If you messed up, first, it’s crucial to know what exactly your professor expects of you. Trying to guess what will please them may take a lot of your energy but end up in vain. So, ask them how you can make it up to them. It can be rewriting or amending the paper you have plagiarized. It can be an extra assignment. Just do not confuse making up for your mistakes and doing someone else’s job or going the extra mile to justify yourself.
Also, be ready that you will be the only one ready to compromise. In case you can’t reach out to the teacher and establish an open line of communication, at least try to:
- express your hope that it won’t influence the education process
- say that you believe that you’ll be able to sort this out as time passes
- promise to be honest and hard-working.
Be prepared that they may take your attitude or words too personally. It’s nothing but what is called projection in psychology. So, try to not get too invested in this matter. You are here to learn, and they are here to teach, guide, and help you. Basic human compassion and the ability to compromise are what should be more than enough for smooth relationships between you two. What goes beyond is excessive.
Don’t Resort to Flattery
Some professors may expect this from you, and they may even like the flattery. Yet, you won’t feel good after being insincere. First of all, no grade or person is worth your dignity. Second, feeding the self-esteem of someone who makes your college years even harder than they already are is the last thing to do.
Third, apple-polishing your teachers is not the only strategy that may help. Besides, there are some of them who will clearly see what you’re trying to do and become even more aggressive or defensive.
To Sum Up
Finally, there is a chance that you don’t have to do anything at all. Some people are just spiteful, and you can’t change it. Some are simply hot-tempered. You might be more invested in a conflict between you and your teacher than the latter. So, first of all, observe their behavior and reaction toward you, and don’t rush things.
Keeping your communication official and purely professional is not that bad, actually. The main point is that if they don’t try to put a spoke in your wheel, that is already not bad. If you just keep studying and doing your best, they will probably cool down and forget everything. And if not, well, you are still able to express your concern and leave them to that. You can’t please everyone, so just work on what you can change and what is best for you. Good luck!
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