I’d Never Get Out: Spider-Man Bed

Incredibeds made a Spider-Man bed cover that turned an ordinary bed into an awkwardly shaped, ridiculously comfy-looking Spider-Man. Cool! I mean, for someone else. Different strokes for different folks, ya know? Some people dream of swinging through the city. Others apparently dream of sleeping in a superhero’s lap.

Unlike an ordinary Spider-Man sheet set, this wasn’t just Spidey’s face printed on a comforter. The plush cover was designed to wrap around a standard twin or single mattress setup, adding a giant head, arms, and legs. That’s less “superhero-themed bedding” and more “your bed has become Spider-Man.”

Incredibeds teamed up with Marvel for the character line, announced in 2012. Contemporary reporting described soft microfiber fabric and a design that fit around an existing mattress set. No radioactive spider bite or custom-built web-slinging bed frame required.

Naturally, a three-dimensional Spider-Man sprawled across the bedroom raises questions. Where do the pillows go? Do you tuck the blanket under his arms? And, most importantly, will he judge you for hitting snooze six times? (He seems like he’d be understanding.)

Of course, people have found plenty of other ways to make a perfectly normal night’s sleep weird. Some want a bird’s nest, Totoro, a barrell of beer, or even a Millennium Falcon. All of which are cool, but personally I prefer a good old-fashioned bunk bed. I call bottom bunk! (I’m afraid of heights.)

The Spider-Man bed cover was a real product from the early 2010s, but its current availability hasn’t been confirmed. Which is probably for the best in my case. If I’m going to oversleep, I don’t need a superhero watching me do it.