In news that will make you say WTF and then get really sad, married couple Mike and Trina are addicted to coffee enemas. What’s a coffee enema? I’m glad you asked. And by I’m glad you asked I mean oh Lordy I wish you hadn’t. A coffee enema is like buttchuging except with coffee. What’s buttchugging? I… I don’t want to talk about it. But it’s exactly what it sounds like. The couple has been doing these java booty drip thingies for 2 years, the entire process taking around 5 hours a day. Say whaaaaaat? Trina says to pass the time she does all kinds of stuff like listens to music, watches TV, Tweets, and plays Sudoku. Ooh, a multitasker! I guess if you’re gonna put coffee in your butt, you’ll probably need to distract yourself somehow, you know? Because otherwise you might actually have to acknowledge to yourself that YOU’RE PUTTING COFFEE UP YOUR BUTT.

Thanks to Michael for the tip…? I guess? Maybe in the future try to avoid enema-related tips.