In news that will make you stare blankly at your computer screen as you ask yourself “But… why?” there’s a new product on the bathroom scene called Shittens. They’re mittens made of toilet paper. What’s the trouble with regular, non-mittened TP? I guess there are grown-ass humans out there who haven’t mastered the art of wiping their tootay without making a doo-doo mess. Which, I think we can all agree, is pretty damn sad. Y u no learn how to wipe properly? Valid question. You can donate to the campaign over at IndieGogo. You know what would be cooler than toilet paper mittens? Toilet paper gloves. We could call them, um… Shloves. Dammit. That doesn’t sound cool at all! You know what? I’m just gonna stick with regular TP. I mean, if I needed it. I certainly don’t ever use the bathroom. I’m a lady!

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  1. Mark Warob

    They are baby wipe mittens, not toilet paper mittens – love this idea!!!

  2. Q

    WTF. Think about how you take off real mittens. You pull the tip of the mitten and pull it off. Using these “shittens the tip would be full of poop. Therefore you would be forced to take off the poop covered “shitten with a clean hand. Worst idea ever. If the goal was to have something where you wouldn’t have to touch something you used to wipe your ass, this product is a fail.

  3. Jan

    If you have a kid with Autism who has horrible
    gastro-intestinal problems like many do you won’t ever need to ask why

  4. Me

    It’s actually not TOILET PAPER. It’s made of the style of material BABY WIPES are made from, so try and do some research before commenting on something u think u know about. Baby wipes are the greatest thing for wiping, and getting it all out, and if something like these do that, plus make it cleaner all around, why not.
    Do you use just toilet paper on ur child?
    If you do, you’re a stupid parent. My daughters both use wipes when doing a #2. These are perfect for kids in that aspect.

  5. Cake

    I cannot believe you actually felt the need to correct the author or this article on one of the most weirdest things out there. Go get a day job.