This is the 24k gold plated 5-speed LELO Inez Gold Vibrator. Needless to say, it’s made to order, because there’s nothing sadder than a warehouse full of golden vibrators with no home. The thing will set you back $15k, which is entirely too much money. Especially for a sex toy. Unless it’s like, one of those bad-ass swings that — you know what? I’ve already said too much. Point is, if you’ve got that kinda dough to blow on a vibrator, I’d like to believe you can just have the real deal. Don’t you richies have a long line of money hungry leeches just waiting to go to town on your private parts? Or are you that much of an uggo? Because I’m pretty sure there’s no amount of fugly that will keep a gold digger away from your millions. Just look at Donald Trump. BURRRRRN! Oh god, I’m so poor and so, so alone.


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