Meet Shreddies, a line of flatulence filtering underwear. They’re sold for just $32 for women and $40 for men. Presumably because men are gassier. Apparently the skivvies use chemical warfare technology to cancel out your offensive butt thunder. Wait a second — is your booty-burping so seriously rank that you need chemical warfare technology to defuse it? Never mind, I don’t wanna know the gory details, I just want you to put on some damn Shreddies and be done with it. I’d prefer not to have my nostrils burned off, stank you very much. Because the only smell worse than putrid poots is singed nose hairs. Now there’s a scent that lingers.
Thanks to Kate for sending in the tip. Hopefully, she’s not trying to tell me something. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I SMELL OR WHAT?