These sharp looking red shorts featuring an Irish Setter pattern are made from a quick-dry polyester microfiber—which is good because when you get them wet they look like crap. That is to say, they’re covered in crap. Not actual crap. Let me start over. When you get these shorts wet, little poopies show up next to the dogs. So basically they’re the best “gift” for your jerk of an older brother who thought it was funny to replace your English homework with pages from your diary when you weren’t looking. Yeah, the diary entry about your crush on your English teacher so you handed that in instead of “My Favorite Person Is…” essay. I mean, I got a B+ but still.