Every morning when I put on my plain black headphones and listen to podcasts about cooking and being a good housewife, I sigh and silently long for more. When will someone make headphones that match my jewelry and fit in my tiny, delicate woman ears? I want earphones that “reflect the light to dazzle.” Although I am awfully fickle, so maybe I can get another pair that feature a “petite, diamond-cut housing.” And obviously I need one in every color because I’d much rather spend money on multiple pairs of headphones that look pretty than one pair that sounds really good, especially if I ever want to attract a husband.


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