Because people don’t know where to draw the line, here’s Unicorn Farts Lip Balm made by Etsy seller Long Winter Farm. According to the product description it tastes just like the real deal: spearmint and pink cotton candy. I always imagined unicorn farts had at least a hint of eucalyptus, but what do I know? I know I’ve tried to come up with a zany novelty product that the internets will go crazy over. Now I’m up to my ears in debt from manufacturing some of my more genius ideas. But noooo, people don’t want Cat Piss Soda Pop or Crotch-Scented Deodorant. But they want a mythical horned horse’s toot on their lips?! *throws in the towel* I give up — I GIVE UP!

Related Categories: Fashion & Gear



  1. Ben Dover

    I’ll just stick with Blistex.

  2. Erin

    There actually IS a soda called Kitty Piddle! Same concept, fruitier flavor.

  3. Lisa Rose

    There is a wine in NZ called “Cats Pee on a Gooseberry Bush”. I bought it for a laugh but it turned out to be quite nice.

  4. Stephanie

    This stuff is incredible – don’t “just stick with blistex” try something new – it’s all natural (as lip balm can be) it has a super fun name, and it makes your lips super soft and moisturized! THANK YOU LONGWINTERFARMS!!!

  5. Zaphod Smith

    Probably just as well that you gave up.. After all, who wants to go to the patent office with a product like, “Nose Gold Skin Gel”? or “Fart Grease Hand Cream”?

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