I’d like to take a minute and talk to the guys in the audience about a serious issue. It’s February, and that means it is seriously effing cold outside. Each night I go to bed in a heavy duty pair of sweatpants, and each morning when I step out of bed, I find that those sweatpants just aren’t enough to keep my more sensitive bits from receding deep into my body to avoid the dangerous winter chill. Fortunately, someone finally invented a solution to this serious problem, the Elephant Willy Warmer. This amazing garment will keep your goodies nice and toasty, regardless of the temperature. As an added bonus, while wearing one of these, you can pretend your junk is a mighty elephant with a great big trunk. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

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