What’s the fun in wearing a slick suit if you can’t ruin it by wearing a doofy novelty tie? Exactly. Enter the OPUS Perfect Hairy Chest and Stomach Neck Tie sold over at Zazzle. It shows off what you may or may not be hiding under that dress shirt. You could wear the thing to show you’re hairier than Robin Williams and proud of it! Orrrr use it to compensate for your bare chest that only sports 3 hairs (not counting the ingrown one by your nip — you need to get that checked out, bro!). Zazzle also carries other body-exposing ties like a hairless, bodybuilder, and pierced navel varieties. They even got one showing off an x-ray of your entrails! Any of these would be a perfect gift for my weird uncle. Too bad I already got him an Electronic Whoopee Cushion! It came with a remote and everything. He’s gonna love it. Great taste, that guy. But word to the wise: do NOT pull his finger. Just… trust me on this one.
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