Do you have your heart set on being Charlie Brown for Halloween and happen to be so rich that you’ve completely lost touch with what things should cost? Then you should definitely marry me buy this $995 cashmere Charlie Brown sweater. Then marry me. And I’ll dress up as the little red-haired girl or Snoopy (if you’re into that sort of thing) and we can live happily ever after in our piles of money. Ew but don’t actually shave your head for the costume and grow one weird curly hair on the front of your forehead—that’s a dealbreaker.

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