So I’ve been thinking about getting some work done. Don’t judge—everyone’s doing it these days. Since I’m fine with the size of my nose and boobs, I was thinking more along the lines of elf ears. But I want to be one of those tall, pretty LOTR elves, rather than one of those short little toy-making ones. So naturally I’ll also need a stiletto implant to make me taller and achieve that graceful pointed toe look at all times… or wait, is that fairies? So now I’m going to need a pair of wings installed too. While I’m at it, I might as well get a laser cannon grafted to my chest… to crush those who disobey me (or make fun of how I look). Sadly my dreams are on hold for the moment because stiletto implants are only a concept. (Although the elf ear thing is totally real if that makes you feel any better!)

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