Lead Balloons is a company selling pessimistic balloons. Currently they’ve got four different messages to choose from: “Another year closer to the sweet release of death,” “You are a waste of blood and organs,” “Don’t forget, you are a terrible human being,” and “Bastard.” You can buy them for less than $1 a pop (balloon joke!) or get an assorted pack of 13 for less than $7. The bad balloons only come in black and arrive deflated, because of course! A bright bouncy balloon that says “Bastard” just wouldn’t make sense.

BONUS: Incredible Things readers get 10% off with the INCREDIBALLOONS promo code!