Because what is Christmas without a bunch of overpriced, cumbersome, ridiculous junk you don’t need and will never use again, there’s the Two Story Inflatable Reindeer. Wait, this is just some dumpy ass no-name reindeer? You coud’ve used Rudolph, his name’s not trademarked or anything. That’s like, instead of just using the name Santa like a regular person, you choose to market a product as “Fat Old Guy With Cookie Crumbs In His Beard Who Watches You Sleep At Night.” Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it? If I was the boss of naming stuff I’d just call it “Big Gaudy Waste Of Space Save Your Money For Your Kids’ College Education In Hopes That They Don’t Turn Out Like Those Asshat People On Jersey Shore” or something along those lines.

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