18 weird products for kids

Kids love things that are weird, disgusting, outrageous and downright silly, but even they might have their limits. We tracked down some of the strangest products for kids… some they’d love and some that may be too weird for anyone.

pee-and-poo

Pee and Poo

Straight from the Pee and Poo website, “Pee&Poo was founded by Emma Megitt, as a result of her master’s degree in graphic design.” There you have it kids…your masters in Graphic Design will result in a big waste. Seriously, who’s putting their kid in a turd t-shirt and sending them off into the world? Pee&Poo may be the creepiest brand of kids toys ever.

gelli-baff

Gelli Baff

Some kids products can be pretty messy, but leave it to kids to want something that makes even bath time a disgusting mess! Gelli Baff turns bath water into brightly colored slimy goo. Even if it does gross out Mom and Dad, it’s a great way to get the kids to actually look forward to bath time. $15

ugly-dolls

Ugly Dolls

Sometimes something can be so ugly it’s cute. Ugly Dolls don’t exactly define grotesque with their soft round plush features and bright colors, but they aren’t winning any beauty pageants either. Ugly dolls come in all shapes, sizes, colors, amounts of eyes, crazy overbites and strange extra extremities. $20

security-xray-scanner-toy

Scan-it Security Checkpoint X-Ray Toy

No one wants to encourage their kids to emulate the TSA. Letting them play with the Scan-it Security Checkpoint X-Ray Toy might lead to some weird behavior. Sure it starts out cute when little Timmy asks you for your spare change and keys, but it’s a whole other problem when you get frisked and held in questioning for hours. $30

pixel-blocks

Pixel Blocks

Kids these days don’t relate to anything that doesn’t come with usb, so it makes sense that rather than playing with legos and lawn darts, that they’d want to play with something more familiar. Pixel Blocks recreate digital artwork without a computer or monitor. Snap them together to create a 2D picture, or stack them on top each other to build something. $20

tauntaun-sleeping-bag

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

While this was just a clever April Fool’s joke, courtesy of Think Geek, it was so popular, they’re going to do their best to appease the Lucasfilms gods and get the license to make the Tauntaun Sleeping bag a reality. While it really is an adorable sleeping bag, things get kind of messy when you realize the the zipper is shaped to look like a light saber that cuts through to reveal the animals intestines so you can shelter your baby from the Hoth wasteland.

moo-mixer-self-stirring-mug

Moo Mixer Self Stirring Mug

It’s important to instill the desire for completely unnecessary devices at a young age. The Moo Mixer Self Stirring Mug lets you press a button to mix your chocolate and your milk so you don’t have to be bothered with the arduous task of mixing it with a spoon. As if! How analog. $15

lego-joker

Lego Joker from the Dark Knight

Okay, so this isn’t official lego merchandise, but it is something you can buy on the internet. If you let your kids watch the movie and they didn’t suffer from any permanent psychological trauma, then they’ll love these Joker Lego figures. Available in classic or nurse disguise, each figure comes with lego weapons. The weapons may be a choking hazard and are not intended for children under 3 years old.

toilet-buddies

Toilet Buddies

In case your child is having trouble potty training, you can intimidate him or her further by adding a creepy farm animal’s face to your toilet. And if you have any concern about a someone watching you go (even if it is just an offensively named cartoon character) the inside of the decal on the inside of the lid has it’s eyes closed… for privacy. What may be more disturbing is that the inside decals all seem to have a big “Poo-Poo Panda” eating grin. $13

billybob-fake-teeth-pacifier

BinkyBob Bad Teeth Pacifier

You might be a redneck if this is the nicest set of teeth your baby will ever have. Seriously you might think this is hilarious but one day your kid is going to hate you for the Binky Bob Bad Teeth Pacifier… and for showing the pictures to all of his girlfriends. $10

food-chain-friends

Food Chain Friends

When the family cat, Mr Fluffypants, gets eaten by the neighbor’s pet python, it can be difficult to explain it to your child. Luckily Food Chain Friends help ease the pain by teaching your kids that sometimes things get eaten by bigger things. That’s just how the food chain works. Hopefully they’ll have so much fun playing with the new toy that they’ll forget about Mr. Whateverface. $50

barbie-tanner-pooping-dog

Barbie and Tanner The Dog (who poops)

Here’s a toy that you won’t find anymore because it’s been recalled. No, not because someone found the pooping dog that Barbie cleans up after offensive. Apparently the pooper scooper is a choking hazard. We can’t imagine what Matel was thinking with Barbie and Tanner the Dog who eats its food, poops it out and then eats it again because it’s the same thing.

uriinal-for-toddlers

Peter Potty Toddler Urinal

It might seem like a good idea at first to stop trying to get your little whizzer to hit the target in the bowl and just let him use the Peter Potty Toddler Urinal and hope he doesn’t hit the wall. But what’s he gonna do when he visits a relative who doesn’t have an itty bitty urinal in their home? And this thing is plastic so we have to wonder, how sturdy can it really be? We wouldn’t want to find out.

tattoos-for-babies

Tattoos for Babies

Is it just us or are parents letting their kids get tattoos younger and younger these days? Tattoos for babies may be the tackiest thing you could buy for your kid. But at $5 it might be worth the look on grandma’s face when you say, “Mom, remember how you never let me get a tattoo? Well…” $5

thunderguard-infant-safety-helmet

Thudguard Infant Safety Hat

Luckily makers of Thudguard Infant Safety Hat had the foresight to realize that calling it a baby helmet might turn some parents off. While you can’t really knock anyone for wanting to make absolutely sure that their child is safe, this also paints an image of a careless caregiver strapping this thing to a kid’s head, plopping them in front of the TV and going out for the day.
$30

mommy-why-is-there-a-server-in-the-house

Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House? Book

Yes, this is a real book and we WTF’d just as hard. Even though Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House? is just marketing for Microsoft Home Server, the book delivers a surprisingly hilarious message and points out that even a huge company like Microsoft doesn’t always take themselves seriously. If you work in IT this book might actually help you finally explain your job to your kids. $6

buster-vacuum-for-kids

Buster Vacuum Cleaner for Kids

Perhaps slightly less exploitative than the baby mop, the Buster Vacuum is a great way to trick your kids into get your kids involved in cleaning at a young age. The Buster Vacuum Cleaner actually might be a little defeatist since as kids clean the crumbs in front of them, they’re just gonna leave more behind them. *sigh*

pre-chewed-pencils

Pre-chewed Pencils

An interesting new way to try to get your kids to keep their pencils out of their mouth and on their pages… Pre-chewed pencils intend to make your kids focused. But you really have to wonder, are some teeth marks really going to keep them from sticking their pencils where they don’t belong? When we asked our 9 year old youth expert she said, “Gross. No one would pay for that.” Our thoughts exactly. $3

If you enjoyed this article, consider signing up for our newsletter, subscribing to our RSS feed, or following us on Twitter.
Related Categories: Features, Kids

2 Comments

  1. Fixingdumb

    Your an idiot the aafet helmet is for childrens with special needs. I suggest you firther fo your research before making blank comments or statements.

  2. Plantastic

    Grow you own ZOMBIE PLANT in the ZOMBIE PLANT Grow Kit and watch how it Plays DEAD when you Touch it! Great Holiday Gift idea

Incredible Things