The incredibly funny Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal now has a series of greeting cards available. They’ve been dubbed “Horrible Cards,” but I’m just not seeing the connection. Loving someone to the extent that you rub your privates on their personal belongings (not a euphemism) as they sleep — that’s ROMANCE, people. And if that’s wrong, then I don’t wanna be right. Lock me up & throw away the key!

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