When your boyfriend stops working you unfortunately can’t just send him back to the manufacturer (his mom won’t let him move back into the basement). You’re just going to have to get a new one to replace his broke ass. And you can for only $12 plus shipping thanks to Boyfriend in a Bottle. Boyfriend in a Bottle takes the hassle out of new boyfriend shopping by guaranteeing a 5-star, “sweet” boyfriend that you can take anywhere (even to that new foreign film you’ve been dying to see). You can’t choose what your new boyfriend looks like unless you’re willing to invest a little extra for new hair and clothes—much like in real life.

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