You know why arcades didn’t stay in business? Not enough couches. Who wants to play video games for hours while STANDING? (Seriously, that’s why I’ll never own a Kinect.) If I was gonna open up an arcade nowadays I would make all the arcade machines shorter and plop them in front of a Retro Invader Couch. I would also serve Hot Pockets and Shasta while dressed like Samus from Metroid. Ooh and there’d be a secret Fight Club in the basement, except instead of beating the crap out of each other for reals, it’d be a bunch of sweaty nerds playing Marvel vs Capcom without shoes on. Actually, this is starting to sound a lot like my college rec room—except with a cooler couch.

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