One of the worse questions you could hear before 9 AM is “Does this smell bad to you?” I love you dear but I don’t want to smell your rancid milk. Just pour it in your bowl and if it doesn’t look like cottage cheese then eat your damn cereal. That’s what I do and I’ve only thrown up a couple of times this month. But I suppose if you’d rather be safe than pukey, you could get the Milkmaid Smart Jug by Quirky. It has pH sensors in its base that measure whether or not your milk has spoiled. It also has a temperature sensor that lets you know when your milk has been left out too long. While those two features sound great, but I’m a little iffy on the weight sensor that lets you know how many cups you have left. There’s no more hiding all those quick swigs you take straight out the jug when no one is looking—especially because all of that info can be accessed via the iPhone. No one even has to be home to call you out on that shit!

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