I’m on the Color Diet. You know, the one that allows you to eat whatever the hell you want in mass quantities as long as it’s of a certain color (my favorite color is candy!). Oh you haven’t heard of it? Well, you should read more or something. Obviously I wouldn’t make something like that up just so my doctor will get off my back for packing on a couple hundred pounds. What’s the big deal anyway? The Esslack “Food Finish” is a non-toxic coloring spray perfect for jazzing up meal time. Imagine having an extravagant dinner party and serving this golden turkey! All your friends will be so impressed that you can afford such fine things that they won’t have the guts to tell you that digesting gold actually gives them painful, life threatening gas. Oh what, eating gold doesn’t give you any issues? Well, aren’t yooouuu fancy… *eyeroll*

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Via: www.obviouswinner.com

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