This is a Craigslist ad for a one of a kind, custom made coochie couch. The poster is only asking for $4,000 for it, which is a total steal because A, he paid over $20k to have it made and B, you will never see something so perfect in your life. Why would he possibly parting with this precious gem? He got married and the wife isn’t having it. I can’t imagine why. What newly wedded wife wouldn’t want a leather sofa that looks like a bunch of vaginas strung together? Exactly. You’re making a big mistake, lady!

Thanks to my friend Argee for the tip. He told me if his wife ever made him choose between her or the couch, he’d make the right choice: the wife’s gotta go!