The worst kinda buzz kill is when your probation officer jumps down your throat for being wasted at 2 in the afternoon. Ugh, get off my case! No, literally — get off my case, number CA295809. I’ve already put in a request for a new PO. Fortunately, in the meantime there’s the Rx Label Flask. It looks totally legit! See, according to my court ordered agreement I can take all the prescriptions I can convince my doctor to prescribe. I just can’t drink the good stuff. Which is dumb, because drinking booze isn’t my problem. It’s trying to find the money to afford booze that’s my problem! Which brings me to the real question at hand: where do other people get their booze-money from? And don’t you dare say “Get a damn job” because I stopped listening to that nonsense years ago.

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