Quick — name your two favorite things! What? Nooo, not boobies and beer. Your other two favorite things! Huh? No, NOT pizza and taking naps. Dammit, I’m talking about Sriracha and meat. Yeeeaaah, thooose two favorite things. God. Now how would you feel if we combined those things to make Sriracha Beef Jerky? You’re confused aren’t you? You don’t know what to say. Okay, I’ll tell you how to feel — excited. Hungry. Like getting your wallet out and buying some and then realizing you don’t have enough dough so you ask your mom for an advance on your weekly allowance. No, not that last one? Just me? Okay, well at least we can agree on the first two. But uh, while we’re on the subject, how’s about you float me some cash? C’mon, you know I’ll get you back! Yeah, you’re right — you know I won’t get you back. But still! Pretty please?


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