It’s hard to manage nomming on h’or dourves if you’re double fisting cocktails at a fancy party. I mean, not that I would know. I’m not even invited to regular parties. I’m sure as hell not welcome at a black tie event — I only wear sweat pants and tube tops! For all you classy people with your fancy parties, there’s Finger Plates. They fit like a ring and are meant for finger foods. Yeah, you know what? These just reminded me exactly why I don’t even WANNA go to some party where all there is to eat is like snail butts and fish lips or whatever. If I’m gonna go out somewhere, I expect to be able to gorge on insanely large portions of pizza and beer without judgment. Which is exactly why I choose to stay home!

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