Hold on to your butts! This news is gonna blast it right off the back of your legs: scientists at the Organo Balance biotech lab have created a candy that doesn’t rot all the teeth out of you skull. In fact, this new candy won’t cause cavities at all. The ’tists (short for scientists, keep up with the times, man!) found this new altered candy had successful results in minimizing cavities in test subjects. Ooh, I got a test subject for your next candy related project: ME! But seriously, this is like the happiest day of my life — now I can shovel all the candies into my mouth and have teeth to chew them up. All the teeth I have left, that is! Which, unfortunately and admittedly, is not many.
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