I don’t know where the hell our flying cars are, but YOU GUISE! Listen up: it’s the future. For real this time. Ice cream whisperer Charlie Francis has created glow-in-the-dark ice cream. What makes it glow? Chemically recreated jellyfish protein. You’re probably thinking “Hm, that sounds expensive” and you’re 100000% right. It is expensive! A scoop of this glow-in-the-dark frozen treat will set you back $225. But the real question at hand is: will eating this chemically recreated jellyfish junk make all the teeth to fall out of your head and cause your body to rot from the inside out? Gee, let’s hope not — we’re talking about ice cream here, not some strange but underwhelming plot twist in a M. Night Shyamalan movie! Don’t ruin this for me. Please. I love ice cream. Aside from pizza, it’s all I got! Sometimes I just like to cover myself in it à la this magical human. He’s my spirit animal. Have you ever seen anything so perfect in your life? That’s a rhetorical question, BTW. You and I both know there’s nothing more precious and holy than ice cream kid. No, not even a unicorn dressed a Disney princess riding a double rainbow.