Mr. Tea Infuser, or as I like to call him Mr. Tea Pants, is a tea infuser who knows how to relax. His arms rest on the side of your mug of hot water so it looks like he’s soaking in a hot tub, while he’s actually making tea with what’s in his pants. It’s gross if you think too hard about that part, so don’t. Just be happy for him because he looks so relaxed. At least someone can find the time to take a hot bath—I barely have time to even shave my legs in the morning. That’s why I do it on the bus and use a smooshed up banana in lieu of shaving cream.

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