I’m a little fuzzy on the Jesus appearing on food timeline, but I’m pretty sure the whole thing started when Otto Frederick Rohwedder invented the first bread slicer after God spoke to him on and said “Let there be toast.” And the rest is history. Of course toast is okay (for heathens) but true believers know that cheesiness is next to godliness. That’s why I’m skipping right past the Jesus Toaster and going with the Grilled Cheesus. I just have to remember not to add any meat to my grilled cheesuses on Fridays so I don’t burn melt in hell.

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