Kids really do say the darndest fucking things—especially kids who grow up reading My First Dictionary by Ross Horsley. At first glance this vintage-looking learning tool seems innocent enough—and why wouldn’t it with such charming illustrations? But any attentive (and literate) parent should be able to quickly spot what’s wrong with this picture. Giving your toddler My First Dictionary based on the pictures alone is like giving your 10-year-old a copy of Grand Theft Auto because you think “all video games are for kids.” Just like you shouldn’t be surprised when your kid says that having sex with hookers will boost his health after playing GTA, don’t be surprised when he cites the definition of a pocketbook as “a small bag used for carrying money and xanax” when you let him read this book.