This is the season for opening gifts and being immediately disappointed. Throughout the year I like to practice my reaction in the mirror for this very occasion. Hand-me-down drawls, again? Gramma, you shant have! Now you can buy the Worst Gift Ever for all the people you don’t really care about but are obligated to buy a present for. It includes some tighty whities, a pair of athletic socks, and comes in a terribly wrapped gift box. C’mon yall, I can think of a ton of shit that’s waaaay worse to receive than this. Like, a literal ton of shit, for example.

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