Because it totally matters how fancy the car is that’s toting your corpse around, Rolls Royce has plans to release a hearse model. The Rolls Royce Phantom Hearst B12 measures 23 feet long and costs $662,000. I can’t even imagine how much the funeral home will charge! If I had that kinda cash, I’d be spending it on my alive time, you know? But I get it — rich people will spend money on anything just to remind us that they can. But c’mon. You’re dead! You’ll be rollin’ around in the back of the Phantom thru the gates of a cemetery to get to your own funeral. Just FYI: when I kick the bucket, I don’t care what y’all do with my remains. Wrap my junky ass us in some garbage bags and light that bitch on fire for all I care.

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