Japan is back with another crazy-ass product — the Oppai Taisou Hand. It’s a $28 plastic boobie massager named and shaped after human boobie massager expert Oppai Taisou. How do you become a boobie massaging expert? I’m asking for a friend — 13-year-old boys everywhere. Just kidding, all men everywhere. Hell, even most women too. I know I’m curious! You know you are too. Just admit it! We’re all friends here.