Oh, Twister: “The game that ties you up in knots!” Or as I like to call it “The game that forces you to awkwardly balance with your head between your cousin’s legs until your uncle stops laughing long enough to flick the damn spinner” or “The game that somehow always ends up with your crush’s face right behind your ass and you pray to god that you don’t fart.” Fun times had by all! This is Hammacher Schlemmer’s Inflatable Outdoor Color Dot Game. Which is the non-violating trademark licensing law’s way of saying Inflatable Outdoor Twister. The $2,000 bouncy game supports up to 1,500 pounds. Which… would be me and three of my closest friends. HI-YO! Get it? I’m really f***ing fat.