The Penis Extender Stretcher Strap Device

The Penis Extender Stretcher Strap Device

The Penis Extender Stretcher Strap Device is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a mechanism meant to make your dangle longer. But is it exactly what it looks like? Because… it looks like a medieval torture device. I don’t have man parts but I imagine if I did they would be quaking in fear right now, trying to crawl up my b-hole to hide. Look, I’m no penis scientist (although I claim to be at the bar, YOOWZA!), but if you’re trying to stretch out your snake, save yourself the 60 bucks and try some of my partially thought-out ideas.

Tie one end of a rope to a bowling ball, tie the other end to your wiener, drop the bowling ball off your balcony. Longer penis!

Slam your johnson in a door and run backwards. Longer penis!

Tie a fishing line to your love muscle. Go fishing, be sure to secure a big catch, reel it in. Longer penis!

Roll your dingaling out with rolling pin to achieve a longer penis. Longer penis!

Attach your penis to a model rocket. Ignite. PSSSSHOOOOW! Longer penis!

See? Easy! And hey, I got plenty more inexpensive, not at all dangerous penis lengthening ideas where that came from. But the real issue here is, any woman who loves a man with a tiny pecker will tell you: it’s not the size that counts, it’s whether or not it’s crooked what you do with it.

We want to know all of your thoughts and feelings. Please share them in great detail below.
  • Amy

    Here u goall kkkk

  • Mr. Mehoff

    i’ve had mine for about a year now, though it has pulled skin and torn my meat “muscle” repeatedly- my wiener has never been longer!!!!!

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